From Rachel

So Betty Arnold Biad and I had a discussion today about giving up hope. She asked me if I had, or if I felt like the family had giving up hope. I said absolutely NOT! Just because I"m making plans for a future when I may not be here, and that I"m planning my own Life Celebration (Funeral) does not mean that I don't think that God will heal me right here and now.

I have decided though that I gave everything the best shot that I physically could. I have stopped most of my strict diet, opting for whatever I want to eat, because frankly I need to put on weight!! That doesn't mean that I don't whole heartedly believe in every alternative treatment I tried, it just means that I"m content that when healing comes it is going to be completely on God's terms.

You may think that I wasted my time hoping and trying wacky things to heal myself. But I look at the last 6 months as a time of HOPE and I wouldn't trade one thing I did, or one dollar I spent. The last 6 months have been priceless for our family in the terms of LOVE, HOPE and bonding. We made this fun, a journey of new things, a journey of experimenting and a time of complete JOY. I thank God for the bonding that my alternative choices brought us as a family. We had so much fun juicing and cooking, reading and watching videos on HOPE and healing. Thank you God that you led me down this path of holistic healing. That though it hasn't brought us the outcome that we set out for, it has brought us something far more precious, HOPE and JOY during our "darkest" days!!

 So as I now shift my thinking and our family starts to plan for a time I won't be here I ask that you pray for them that they will continue on this path of joy and bonding. I will never give up on Healing, I know that one way or the other it's coming, here on earth or when standing side by side with Jesus. Thank you so much for all your prayers, thoughts, and encouragement. You are all living, breathing examples of God's love to me:)

Here is a paragraph from a book I"m reading that really summed up what God has been teaching me over the last few months:

Battling Our Unbelief;
In order to discard our unbelief. We much affirm God's plan in the present moment-say yes to God and what he is doing in our lives today. "Trusting God in the midst of our pain and heartache has the connotation of willingness. An attitude of acceptance says that we trust God, that He loves us, and know what is best for us". This is not to wave a white flag of surrender, resigning ourselves to the inevitable because we are helpless to do anything else. Trusting God means we embrace his goodness in this part of the race and determine, by his grace, to run.