Chemo

Bare with me as I just woke up and might have to end quickly because the kids wake up:-)

Last Thursday Rachel went in for her first round of ultra light Chemo. she had a 10% chance of getting sick from the treatment. Rachel prayed that God would be very clear if He did not want her to continue with the treatment but up until the chemo treatment everything seemed to go smoothly. Even when Rachel came home from the treatment everything seemed to be great and she felt fine. However, that night was a long night for Rachel because she did get very sick and that is when she knew that she was not to continue with the chemo treatments.

Rachel still has not recovered from that one dose of treatment and it feels like another setback. She was given a lot of medication leading up to the chemo and the chemo itself affected her body causing her to become constipated.

For most of us, constipation is not that serious but for Rachel it could mean another long hospital stay and another operation which she was determined not to have happen. Saturday night Rachel was in extreme pain from the constipation and should have gone to the hospital but refused to go because (as our family firmly agrees with) that going to the hospital would only cause another major setback in her recovery because they would just "help" her based on their knowledge of medicine and not a knowledge of nutrition and health. So, late at night, with Rob barred from the room, Mom and Dad helped Rachel become un-constipated.

I sit here writing as a mom and a women of a sister who has cancer... I cannot express to you how much love it had to have taken for my Mom and Dad to be willing to help my sister that way. The pain in their hearts that they must have been going through and the fear that they were causing their little girl pain. And "No" you could not even dream/nightmare of what they had to go through but my Mom and Dad are amazing. Rachel feels much better. All three of them have one interesting story to keep to themselves. We all have the sigh of relief that Rachel did not have to go to the hospital and we all have a Mighty God.

As for food...since chemo Rachel had been very nauseous and at times has thrown up. She only eats very basic things and has not been able to drink a lot of juice. frustration and fear fills my heart whenever I think about it but then I have to trust the Lord that He knows what is going on in Rachel's body.

Rachel is strong though in spirit! She continues to trust the Lord through all of this and does not complain. How can she remain so thankful and focused...I would love to get her here to write about it!! I know that it all focuses on the Lord. What does it teach me? When I see Rachel, I get a glimpse of Christ...because she is so focused on Him!! and, I am also convicted of my complaining spirit!!! I complain if I don't get enough sleep, enough to eat, enough time to myself, enough freedom... but I don't really hear any complaints coming from Rachel...How much have I already complained today? How much have you complained today? hmmm...gives me something to think about.

Prayer request:

1. For my Mom and Dad...their little girl has cancer

2. For Rachel...stay strong in body and spirit, is able to eat and drink more

3. for the boys that they will be drawn to the Lord more closely through all of this

4. for Rob that He will feel the prayers of everyone around him and draw strength from the Lord.

5. For everyone reading this blog...that they will see Christ in our family trying to live through faith while in emotional and physical pain.

And it continues

New Week!! lets find new ways to fight cancer!!

I am encouraged to see my sister looking better everyday...sometimes I look at her and can't believe she has stage 4 cancer...she looks amazing!! Rachel has been getting out to church as much as she can...whenever she can. I think this is a wonderful testimony to her relationship with the Lord. Rachel sets the bar high for all of us and when we say we are to busy or too tired or too sick to get involved in our church.

Mom is ever strong but weak at the same time. Raising the boys is hard on her but I also think it is teaching her new ways to look to the Lord for strength. Dane is ever a challenge but Mom seems to show him God's love in disciplining him in a loving way. Sometimes it just seems easier to let the boys get away with stuff then to stand up to them and set boundaries for them. Please pray that Mom will set Godly boundaries for the boys and they will someday look back and see the love, time and patience Mom and Rachel have put into raising them. Another great example for us to see when we just don't feel like taking the time to discipline our children.

I just had a wonderful weekend. My Mother and sister -in-law helped me host a baby shower for my brother-in-laws wife Christina. It was a wonderful morning with lots of sun!!! Today I was able to go to church and fellowship and cry... I always seem to cry at church because it is one of the few places that slows me down and I hear the Word of the Lord spoken so clearly. I can't escape there... I have to feel what is going on in my heart and the Lord always speaks to me. So the rest of the day was spent either crying or making myself so busy I did not have time to think about crying.

Having a sister sick with cancer is so heartbreaking!! I remember hearing about people who had cancer and I would pray for them, if I remembered, but they were always a friend of a friend of a friend...Never my sister. Rachel and I are suppose to grow old together and sit on the front porch in rocking chairs talking about the old times!! It can't be MY sister who has cancer but it is and I can't seem to find the rhyme or reason for it right now. However, I will go to the Lord continually and ask Him to open my eyes to see life the way He sees things. I will continually seek Him through my pain and know that He is working in ever aspect of Rachel's cancer.

My Dad...I love him so much!!! He has such focus and passion and A.D.D!!! He loves the Lord so much and loves Rachel. Growing up I never questioned my Dad's love for me because he was always good at making me feel safe in his love. Dad is continuing to show Rachel love by researching ever aspect of her cancer, water, juicer, bed and so forth. He is standing by her when she is sick and throwing up in the kitchen trash can right after her Vitamin C infusions. Dad is ready at the drop of a hat to take Rachel to any appointment she needs to be taken. Dad's love flows out of him for Rachel and I love seeing it!! What an amazing Dad I have!

Food for Rachel?? Well, sadly Rachel's taste buds are wacky right now and most everything tastes gross to her. She is also nauseous most of the time and that does not help her want to eat. But she does enjoy her Sauteed Spinach, Poached egg and quinoa grains. Please pray for Rachel in this area.

Something Short...and eggs

This week has been busy for me and my mind has been on overload!

How is Rachel...She is strong emotionally!!! Wow, I have been totally impressed with how strong she is and how focused on the Lord. We went to the nutritionist on ...early this week, can't remember the day! and she was just overflowing with a positive attitude. Rachel firmly believes that God can heal her! She has such confidence in Him! I was blessed just hearing Rachel speak of her faith in the Lord.

Rachel can now eat 1 egg a day and she is in heaven! The nutritionist gave her the OK to eat an egg because Rachel has been craving them. We went home and I was able to make her quinoa grains

sauteed spinach and a poached egg...Rachel loved it!! Said it was the best thing she has eaten in 6 months. I enjoyed it too!!

From Rachel 5/18

SO after much thought and prayers, I've decided what's best for me right now is to stay with my doctors at Upenn. I just feel that I have such a good relationship with them that it would be hard to give that up. Though I LOVED and really was impressed by Cancer Treatment Center of America, I don't feel that it's the place for me (I would though, recommend it to anyone!!!). I was glad that they were able to give me a second opinion and that it matched up with what my doctors at Upenn said.
I've been getting stronger and stronger each day. I've been able to go back on my supplements from GNLD, started a new supplement from holistic Dr. called Transfer Factor by 4life.com I'm taking my weekly dose of I.V. Vit C, eating a mostly vegan diet (cooked by my wonderful sister (Betty Arnold Biad]), drinking essiac tea, juicing (done daily by mom and Betty), ionized water, B-17 injections (in the BUTT!!!), Mistletoe injections (to the stomach, UCK!!) Thank God for me mother (Barbara Arnold] who gives them to me even though she looks like she's going to pass out!!, and a multitude of other cancer fighting elements!! But mostly I'm relaying on prayers!! I'm always so blown away by the outpouring of prayers by my family is Christ!! Thank you all!!!
And so now the "NEW" chapter in my journey. After much prayer and thought, I've decided to try a low dose of Chemo. I've been thinking about this for a while, it was one of the recommendations from the Hospital in Mexico. I was not ready to make this decision even one month ago. But as God has planned it, each little step comes when I'm ready to deal with next thing. I have a Doctor at Upenn that is willing to give me a low dose of Carboplastin, it will be administered weekly in quarter doses. I feel comfortable now with this decision. The first time I had Chemo in Sept '09, I felt bullied into it, even in Dec and Jan. of this year I felt like I was not ready to go there. But now God has given me a peace about it and also has brought me a Dr. who is very willing to listen and most importantly HEAR me!! Dr. Ford is willing to have me continue on with all my "holistic" treatments and even encourages me to do Vit. C and all my unorthodox treatments. She is also going to monitor my health very closely, and she agrees fully with me that if I get sick or can't handle the treatment that it's not worth it and to stop immediately. Because this treatment will not cure me, she does not believe that the possible side effects are worth the short amount of life that it will give me in the end (of course that is her words, I know that I'm not going anywhere till God calls me home:) SO I'm asking everyone out there to pray a very specific prayer this next week. I will be going in for my first treatment on Tuesday (tentatively) and my mom and I are praying that if this is what God wants for me, I will be able to tolerate the treatment. IF this is not what God wants that I will get so sick that I just can't go on with another treatment. Please join my family over the next week and help us with hearing God's calling for my life right now.
Love, Rachel Arnold Edgar]:)

A message from my Mom

Hello my dear ones
Today we learned that the cancer has matasticized to Rachel's bones.  The places where they see tumors or there may be tumors are in the skull, around the eyes, in the shoulders and along the spine.  These tumors are so small that they did not show up on the MRI.   This means that Rachel has stage 4 cancer.  Though this is a heavy blow, we have not given up hope.  We are still standing against the evil one in the evil day and against his fiery darts, as Eph. 6 tells us to.  And we stand firm through prayer.  We are more than conquerers.  As Rachel says, this is a win win situation: either she goes to be with Jesus sooner, or she stays with us for a while longer.  I love you all.    Barbara

Another Day

Yesterday I had the day off:-) It was busy with cleaning my house and then my brother Wayne came over for dinner. It was nice.

Today we are back to juicing and cooking for Rachel. How do we feel today?? I feel overwhelmed and like giving up...there I said it!!! I want to feel strong today but I don't:-( I still will continue on for Rachel but seeing her in pain and struggling with cancer is hard. Questioning what God's purpose for this and why He is allowing Rachel to be in pain. On top of that my washing machine broke...why??? I need strength ... this is where I need to stop relying on myself and turn to the Lord. I think I need this time of weakness to come to the point of turning to the Lord because I have been leaning on my own strength...that's wrong.

How does Mom feel today... she feels good today. Yesterday was very hard for her because of the boys and she did not sleep a lot but today is better. The boys are constant challenges - they are boys!!! Pray that Mom stays strong and that she looks to the Lord for wisdom on how to handle the boys. It is so nice when people come over and take the boys for a while...like today Patricia is here playing with Izzy, Noah and Dane...THANK YOU!!!

Even though every tip of my body feels the pain in my heart...I still need to juice for Rachel. As I read through this I see how focused I am on myself...Lord, Teach me to be more selfless. Teach me to not give into my emotions but to know that I need to stay strong in the Lord and not give up.

As for Rachel. She is so tired! and she has been in so much pain that she has to take painkillers. The dr.'s think that it is the tumor pressing against a nerve. I think she is so tired and in pain that it is hard for her to focus on FIGHTING!! but she is just focused on getting through the day. She needs prayer!! Rachel should be drinking up to 8 glasses of juice a day and at least 1 green smoothie, 3 cups of smooth move tea a day, lots of water a day, one big salad, 3 tablespoons of flax seed oil and all her suppliments. We are not there right now but need to get there though...I want to start growing wheat grass and juicing that for her but not yet.

For the boys and Rob...people have been amazing and bringing food!! Thank you!!! yes, we could be cooking for the boys but we are tired!!! Our brains are trying to keep up with Rachel. Wonderful women have been coming over during the day to play with my kids...that is so amazing!!! Thank you!!! I want to help my sister but sometimes with the 3 kids I can't do everything that I want to do for Rachel. Knowing that my 2 older kids are having fun...that is awesome.

Busy!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day!! Our Mother's Day started bright and early at Saint Matthew Baptist Church - 7AM service where the deacons and Pastors anointed Rachel with oil and prayed over her. This was an amazing time for our family as all 4 of us kids could be together with my parents. My mom was able to speak about trusting in the Lord through all of this.

I am not sure where any of us would be if we did not hope/wait/trust in Him while going through this painful time. Rachel has been in so much physical pain which has been so hard to watch and so hard for her emotionally to remain strong and determined. We sure could use as much prayers as we could get and please let us know that you are praying for Rachel...she needs it!!

My brother Wayne arrived Saturday night and has been "tasting" a bit of Rachel's diet:-) He eats anything! I have made him my Goat Kefir to get some good ProBiotics in his system. He also had some of our Juice that we make everyday from our beloved "Juicer from Hell" as my Mom calls it!!

We switched to this juicer back in December(?) because it was the one that the Gerson institute recommended and we have a love/hate relationship with the juicer.

 This juicer is a 2 step process that required both my Mom and I. First we have to wash/scrub all the vegetables and then mom has to grind them up in the tube part to the left and I squeeze it on the tray to the right. to make 4 glasses of juice for Rachel it takes at least 1 hour from start to finish...we would like Rachel to drink 8 glasses a day.

 We juice Kale, carrots, ginger, beets, apples, oranges and lemons. I get a glass of juice at the end and it is SO GOOD!!! I actually look forward to it each day:-) Mom does not savor the juice like I do but I think my taste buds are dead to all things that taste "good":-)

Recently we have had some amazing women come and watch my kids while we juice so I don't have to be feilding 3 kids and trying to prepare Rachel's Juice and foods...they have been amazing women!! I appriciate them because they are pouring out love to my kids and the "Mom Guilt" is slightly eased during that time.

Well, all three kids are up and I need to get them fed...I hope to show you the amazing cook book that my friend Amber let me borrow to cook Vegan food for Rachel...Love this cook book!!!

Meal planning - again

So, I have been going through all the recipes that I had planned 2 weeks ago...tweeking some of them due to the food restrictions...no raw spinach, cabbage. Now I need to work on the rest of this week and find out what Rachel likes. I was lent a great vegan recipe book...From the Kitchen of Two Sisters - Danielle and Lindsay Voeller. So this week I am going to be cooking from it and see how things go.

Tonight: Cozy winter Carrot Soup - pg 65
Thursday: Curried Vegetables over Rice pg. 114
Friday: Calzone Creations pg. 115
Saturday: Warm Dinner Wraps pg. 62
Sunday: all on her own! Happy Mothers Day:-)
Monday: Elegant French Leek Soup pg. 68

This morning I went to Whole foods with all three of my kids...Nearly lost my mind!!! Need to rethink that one:-)

We are getting ready to juice for Rachel now and then I will work on the carrot soup for Rachel and Taco's for the boys and Rob. Need to get some muffins in the oven for the carrot soup...oh! It is so good!!

A good egg substitute..

Reading through my blogs I ran across this good egg substitue - 1 T. vinegar + 1 T. liquid + 1 t. baking powder for each egg. Going to give this a try today when I make Rachel some muffins.

Where have we been this weekend??
Friday - Rachel had a bad day but she was actually able to eat some fruit.
Saturday- got a green smoothie in Rachel:-) Very happy moment for me!!!


Flat bread...sounds good but will have to try it out first.