From Mom - The Days of Our Lives

The Days of Our Lives

I thought I would let you peek through our livingroom window to look at a day in our lives.

I awake at 5:30 AM so that I can relieve the person who has slept in Rachel’s room all night.  They make sure that she does not trip on her way to the bathroom, that she does not wonder downstairs, and that she takes her meds throughout the night.  I have been relieved of night-time duty since I take care of her, the boys, and the household chores from 6 AM until 11 PM.

I give her the meds and lie down beside her for another hour, listening to a sermon on my ipod and gazing at her.  Meds, getting Ra dressed, getting myself dressed takes more time than you would expect, but we finally get downstairs (usually after neatening her room and doing some wash).

There a a lot of hugs, kisses and smiles as I make her a breakfast that we both know will cause her to throw up.  She sleeps sitting up and I keep going over to her to look to her comfort or walk her into the living room.  But first she enjoys working on her 1000 piece puzzle between naps at the kitchen table.  Everytime she awakes from these frequent naps, she smiles at me as though for the first time that day.  I often wait to clean up the kitchen so that I can do the puzzle with her. 

Between naps and the puzzle, the morning passes for her as I make breakfast for the boys, stop fights between them, clean the kitchen, fold laundry, and gaze at Rachel.  I like to sit beside her on the couch, holding her hand as she sleeps.  I do a lot of gazing.  Time passes too quickly.  I want to hold on to each second with her.

Because of the women in my church, I merely have to keep the house neat, as they do the heavy cleaning each weekend.  I am grateful, so grateful for them.  Nor do I have to worry about dinner meals, as her church and my church bring meals often through the week. 

Often in the afternoon, one of Rachel’s close friends comes over and they keep her company.  I may sit and enjoy the company or I may get some things done.  Betty Ann comes every day.  If it was not for her, I would not be able to hold up as I do.  She is so strong.

It is nice when someone takes a boy or two for the day, but if this does not happen, I let them do what I would rather not let them do—TV!  I have to keep my mind and efforts on Rachel.  I sit with her often, I gaze at her more.  I hold her in my arms and feel the bones through her flesh.  She is as thin as a wisp. 

At night, she and I, along with Aunt Betty and Jullie, sit and watch HGTV or Auction Hunters.  We talk while Ra naps.  We each want to sit next to her and feel her close to us.  We gaze at her. 

When I leave, at 11 PM, someone stays through the night with her, gazing at her. 

Soon she will be home with Jesus.

We have Rachel today; we will not ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.

Barbara