Tuesday, April 23, 2013

An update in my life

I know that my blog was written for my sister - Rachel - after her death, I prayed that life would be easy but God had a different plan... here is a view into my life since the passing of my sister. This is what I plan to share tomorrow night at Options Pregnancy Center... please pray for me, that I will be able to reach a couple women and touch their hearts.


I grew up in a Mary Kay home. My mom has used Mary Kay for the last 35 years. My sister and I also started to use Mary Kay when we were in our early teens. My Mom wanted us to learn how to properly take care of our skin so she sat us both down with a Mary Kay Consultant. Through the years I have loved using Mary Kay for my skin care. I never pictured myself as a consultant for Mary Kay until about 3 years ago when one of my cousins signed up as a consultant. I remember going to her kick-off party and picturing myself as a consultant and how I would talk with other women about their skin and how they wore their makeup. However, at the time my sister was going through chemo and radiation treatments for cancer and I knew that it was not the right time to become a consultant. I do remember sitting with my sister and telling her how much I’d like the idea of becoming a consultant. She was so supportive and said to me “Betty Ann! You have to become a consultant! You would be so good at it!” This memory still warms my heart whenever I talk about the first time I thought about being a consultant. I journeyed with my sister as she went through her chemo treatments and she was cancer free for a year before we received the devastating news that the cancer had returned and had spread. They gave my sister 9 months to live. We were devastated and could not understand why God was going to take her away. Our lives were forever changed when we received the news. My sister was the most beautiful women imaginable! A true Audrey Hepburn!

 God worked so much in our lives through the death of my sister. He moved mountains to show us that He was still with us and that He would always walk with us. I learned that the world wants us to believe that life is supposed to be fair but God never promises us that. What He does promise us is that “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5.

After my sister died, I spent a lot of time regrouping. At that time I had 3 children – Elizabeth who was 4, Noah aged 3 and Abigail aged 1. My husband and I decided to try for a 4th baby and we were overjoyed to learn that I were pregnant with our 4th baby. My first journal entry about the baby was “Watch over this baby Lord! Keep it safe. Keep me safe” I felt like the baby was a new life after the passing of my sister. From the very beginning I gave my baby over to the Lord. I spent so much time in prayer, committing him to the Lord and knowing that he was a gift from God. I normally would have told the world that I was pregnant but instead, with this pregnancy, whenever I wanted to tell someone, I went and prayed about the pregnancy and kept the news to myself, treasuring my baby. I never spent so much time in prayer over my pregnancies, but I wanted to give everything about the pregnancy over to the Lord. It was a special pregnancy for me. Through this time of prayer, God spoke so deeply to me and gave me so much peace and love for my son.

At 16 weeks my husband and I went in for an ultra-sound. I was considered High-risk because I had had difficult pregnancies before and they wanted to keep a close eye on my health. During the ultra-sound everything took so much longer then what was expected. I was nervous. And I grew even more nervous when it took the doctor a long time to come into the waiting room to talk over the results of the ultra-sound. We were devastated to find out that our little baby had a giant omphalocele. The outlook was bleak and the doctor was very clear that we should consider terminating the pregnancy.  My husband and I knew right away that terminating our baby was not an option, that no matter what course this pregnancy took, we would love our baby and take care of him. After many ultra sounds and doctor’s visits, the final news for the baby I carried was what that no mom and dad want to hear about their baby – He was incompatible for life. He had a chromosome disorder called Trisomy 13. I was so shocked that each Doctor pressured us to terminate the pregnancy because they thought, it was not fair to do to me and that the emotional strain would be so unfair to me and my family. But what I knew was this baby was no accident! He was a gift from God and I would treasure him for as long as God gave him to me. I knew that God had not made a mistake with how He designed Ezra. Ezra was fearfully and wonderfully made, as the Bible says in Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” My husband and I chose to follow through with the pregnancy of Ezra because we trusted that God knew exactly why He created Ezra the way that he was. We knew that there was no mistake and that our lives would be forever changed through the sadness of the eventual death of our son, but we would trust God for that timing and would not allow man to determine when our son would leave this earth to go to heaven.

It was so hard to walk around pregnant with Ezra knowing he would never be mine. When people looked at me, they automatically thought that I would have a baby who would live to a ripe old age, and they would congratulate me. I would weep inside as I would smile and thank them. I continued with the pregnancy loving my Ezra and taking care of my other three children, but I knew that I did not want to suffer the pain without it being used for God’s glory. I wanted a way to reach other women, to encourage them that no matter what they were going through, God was with them… always!  

A couple of weeks after we found out the news about Ezra, my husband and I were out with my cousin and his wife. She was a Mary Kay consultant and was just gushing about how much she loved her business. I started asking her more questions about the business and how she structured her business. I turned to my husband and asked him, “Honey, what do you think about me signing up as a consultant” My wonderful husband looked back at me and said, “Go for it!” So, there I was, a mother of three and pregnant with my fourth baby who would never be mine. I signed up the next week as a consultant, not knowing where the business would lead me but knowing that God was leading me in that direction. At first the business was a wonderful distraction for me at night and the early mornings before my children woke up. I needed that time to keep my mind off the sadness of my baby and the death of my sister. I never expected my Mary Kay business to be anything more than a part time job where I earned a couple hundred dollars a month. It was the perfect fit for me. Sure, people said I was crazy for starting a Mary Kay business at the time I started, but it was the right time and I knew God was leading me.

When I was 30 weeks pregnant, my Ezra stopped moving inside of me. I carried that knowledge for 2 days to myself as I grieved the death of Ezra inside of me. When I finally went to the hospital, I was at peace with his death and with what was to follow. Giving birth to Ezra was one of the saddest days of my life, and yet I knew that it was the perfect way to say goodbye to my baby. I had 100% peace, knowing that God took Ezra at His time and that I was not forgotten by God but was going to be used by God. Ezra had never been mine. I had continually given him over to Lord even before I knew that he would not be meant for this world. We said goodbye to our son. We told our children that Ezra was so excited to go to heaven to be with Jesus and to be with my sister. I don’t understand why God chose for our life to be this way. I don’t understand why we have had to suffer so much pain. But what I do know is that God is always there. He knew "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart,” Jeremiah 1:5.  God has placed a burden on my heart to share with you that Ezra’s life was God’s and God is going to use Ezra’s short life here on earth to reach many for the name of Jesus. I have a story that needs to be shared with others so that Ezra’s life was not in vain. Not only did the Lord work in my life through this time but He is also working through the pain that I have gone through to reach others.

Through all of this, I have continued to work my Mary Kay business, not just as a business to earn money for my family, but also as a way to minister to other women and to show them love and to share with them about the Lord’s love for them. I have been able to share with more women than I ever would have before. My Mary Kay business has opened doors for me to minister to youth group girls, Moms groups, at Options Pregnancy Center, and in the future I will be doing fundraisers for orphanages, Fresh Hope -- which is for single moms -- and I plan on offering my Mary Kay business to any other ministries that invite me! I want to be used by God through this business and to share my story with other women to offer them hope through a difficult time.
 
 
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Thank you for taking the time to read. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.
Betty Biad

 

1 comment:

  1. ♥♥♥♥ I continue to be deeply touch by you and your family. Every race that Shannon and I run together...we run with Rachel. She is ALWAYS with us in our hearts and miles. Much love to you and your family. Peace....♥♥♥♥

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