It's hard for me to come back on here because of all the memories I have of sitting here pouring my heart out as I watched my sister die. I want to stay away from the painful memories as much as I can and close myself off to that pain. However, I know that God is and will continue to use that painful time in our families life to reflect His glory and to be used to touch other people. So, I must remember because to forget would be the worst crime and I would be wasting my sisters amazing life and death!
How are we doing?? that has been a question asked by so many and thought by even more. I appreciate how we have been allowed to grieve in our time and how many of you have prayed for us.
Life is finally falling into some sort of new "Normal" it's hard and a day does not go by that I don't cry for my sister but I cry for myself and would never ask God to bring her back. Nor would I ask that He change the out come. Rachel is far better in heaven away from the sinful world. She is living out eternity! That is where life actually begins. Here on Earth is so temporary compared to the amazing life she now has in eternity with God! How cool is that! It makes me think about how attached I am to things on this Earth, they are so meaningless when you pull like into focus with Heaven being your destination and eternal home.
Mom is doing well. At first we thought she was the one to take care of the boys but through many circumstances, God has brought in an amazing Nanny to watch other the boys and free Mom up to get back into teaching the Bible. So, Mom is taking her time to get back into teach but I think that is where God wants her. Mom has been learning about how man makes his plans but the LORD directs his steps (Proverbs 16:9) we thought Mom would be taking care of the boys but the Lord had other plans and led us all to come together to find a nanny for the boys.
I have been busy with the three kids... they are amazing and have filled my time so much that I only have moments to grieve. Life is busy! I work as the book keeper at the shop and helping in anyway that I can with the boys, Rob, Mom and Dad. I think about my sister and look forward to when I can see her again. My focus is not so attached to here on Earth anymore! Heaven is more real to me and not something that I fear as much now.
The boys are adjusting. They are doing well with school. I am impressed with how they are able to easily speak of Rachel and that they miss her. Ethan talked about how he wishes that he had not said "no" to her so often when she would ask him to go couponing:-) Dane is more reserved about what he says but I have gotten him to talk a bit about his mommy.
Rob is Rob...I can't read him very well but in all his actions he is doing very well and holding up very well. He works hard and then comes in to be with the boys. Rachel always handled everything with the boys so Rob is now learning a lot about being a single dad. He is stepping up though and doing very well.
Christmas is a couple days away. Please pray for our family as we experience another "first" with out Rachel.
Hi Betty Anne
ReplyDeletewhat a prolific writer you are. I am so inspired to read your blobs. Through this whole experience my faith in God has deeped. I marvel at the strength of your lovely family. May God bless and keep you as you navigate through the holidays. It will get easier as the years pass.
Have a wonderful celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."looking unto Jesus, the author and finsher of our faith". Heb. 12:2a
Sis Benjamin
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ReplyDeleteI have found it easier to de-clutter since Mom died; because the shortness of this life is more real! So what am I holding on to all this junk for?
ReplyDelete(La Lagomorph is Debbie McClure)