It's hard for me to come back on here because of all the memories I have of sitting here pouring my heart out as I watched my sister die. I want to stay away from the painful memories as much as I can and close myself off to that pain. However, I know that God is and will continue to use that painful time in our families life to reflect His glory and to be used to touch other people. So, I must remember because to forget would be the worst crime and I would be wasting my sisters amazing life and death!
How are we doing?? that has been a question asked by so many and thought by even more. I appreciate how we have been allowed to grieve in our time and how many of you have prayed for us.
Life is finally falling into some sort of new "Normal" it's hard and a day does not go by that I don't cry for my sister but I cry for myself and would never ask God to bring her back. Nor would I ask that He change the out come. Rachel is far better in heaven away from the sinful world. She is living out eternity! That is where life actually begins. Here on Earth is so temporary compared to the amazing life she now has in eternity with God! How cool is that! It makes me think about how attached I am to things on this Earth, they are so meaningless when you pull like into focus with Heaven being your destination and eternal home.
Mom is doing well. At first we thought she was the one to take care of the boys but through many circumstances, God has brought in an amazing Nanny to watch other the boys and free Mom up to get back into teaching the Bible. So, Mom is taking her time to get back into teach but I think that is where God wants her. Mom has been learning about how man makes his plans but the LORD directs his steps (Proverbs 16:9) we thought Mom would be taking care of the boys but the Lord had other plans and led us all to come together to find a nanny for the boys.
I have been busy with the three kids... they are amazing and have filled my time so much that I only have moments to grieve. Life is busy! I work as the book keeper at the shop and helping in anyway that I can with the boys, Rob, Mom and Dad. I think about my sister and look forward to when I can see her again. My focus is not so attached to here on Earth anymore! Heaven is more real to me and not something that I fear as much now.
The boys are adjusting. They are doing well with school. I am impressed with how they are able to easily speak of Rachel and that they miss her. Ethan talked about how he wishes that he had not said "no" to her so often when she would ask him to go couponing:-) Dane is more reserved about what he says but I have gotten him to talk a bit about his mommy.
Rob is Rob...I can't read him very well but in all his actions he is doing very well and holding up very well. He works hard and then comes in to be with the boys. Rachel always handled everything with the boys so Rob is now learning a lot about being a single dad. He is stepping up though and doing very well.
Christmas is a couple days away. Please pray for our family as we experience another "first" with out Rachel.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Rachel's Obituary and Funeral Information
In Loving Memory of our Beloved Rachel Lynn Edgar (Nee Arnold), who at the age of 35 has run ahead of us all in the race to join our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ on September 14th, 2011.
Rachel was born on July 16, 1976 to her parents Ed and Barbara Arnold. She was later joined by siblings Wayne, Betty (Biad), and Jim. Rachel attended Baptist Bible College in Clark Summit, PA. Rachel married her husband Rob Edgar in 1998 and later went on to have 2 boys, Dane and Ethan. She is also survived by her Maternal Grandmother Mary Burt.
Rachel loved being a home school Mom to her boys as well as performing the accounting for the family business, (Ed’s Rental in Erial, NJ), in which her husband and father partner in.
Rachel's passion in life was to love and serve the Lord by helping others. She was constantly volunteering, whether it be through couponing to help single Moms in need, going to downtown Philly to feed the homeless, or helping to teach in her women's Heart to Heart Bible Study at Fellowship Alliance Chapel.
Rachel also loved to run and even ran in two 13 1/2 mile half marathons last year after having had six chemo and 39 radiation treatments. Rachel enjoyed working out and eating healthy foods, which helped her stay strong even after going through those intense treatments.
The family, Rob, Dane, Ethan, Ed, Barbara, Wayne, Betty, and Jim would like to extend a sincere thank you for all the meals, cleaning, prayers, and support provided for us to allow us to spend more time in caring for Rachel while she was sick.
Relatives and friends are invited to her viewing on Saturday from 5:00 – 9:00 PM at the BRADLEY & STOW FUNERAL HOME, 127 Medford-Mt. Holly Rd., Medford, NJ. A Celebration of her life will be held on Sunday at 6:00 PM at the Fellowship Alliance Chapel, 199 Church Road, Medford, NJ. Interment will be private in the Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Berlin, NJ.
Rachel has requested donations be made to one of the ministries she volunteered for regularly: Feeding 5000. Please see www.Feeding5000.us for details. Please put Rachel Edgar in the memo section of the check.
Friends may visit Rachel’s blog of her journey at Rachelsharvestofhope.blogspot.com and view her Video Tribute at http://memorial.yourtribute.com/Rachel-L-Edgar/
Rachel was born on July 16, 1976 to her parents Ed and Barbara Arnold. She was later joined by siblings Wayne, Betty (Biad), and Jim. Rachel attended Baptist Bible College in Clark Summit, PA. Rachel married her husband Rob Edgar in 1998 and later went on to have 2 boys, Dane and Ethan. She is also survived by her Maternal Grandmother Mary Burt.
Rachel loved being a home school Mom to her boys as well as performing the accounting for the family business, (Ed’s Rental in Erial, NJ), in which her husband and father partner in.
Rachel's passion in life was to love and serve the Lord by helping others. She was constantly volunteering, whether it be through couponing to help single Moms in need, going to downtown Philly to feed the homeless, or helping to teach in her women's Heart to Heart Bible Study at Fellowship Alliance Chapel.
Rachel also loved to run and even ran in two 13 1/2 mile half marathons last year after having had six chemo and 39 radiation treatments. Rachel enjoyed working out and eating healthy foods, which helped her stay strong even after going through those intense treatments.
The family, Rob, Dane, Ethan, Ed, Barbara, Wayne, Betty, and Jim would like to extend a sincere thank you for all the meals, cleaning, prayers, and support provided for us to allow us to spend more time in caring for Rachel while she was sick.
Relatives and friends are invited to her viewing on Saturday from 5:00 – 9:00 PM at the BRADLEY & STOW FUNERAL HOME, 127 Medford-Mt. Holly Rd., Medford, NJ. A Celebration of her life will be held on Sunday at 6:00 PM at the Fellowship Alliance Chapel, 199 Church Road, Medford, NJ. Interment will be private in the Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Berlin, NJ.
Rachel has requested donations be made to one of the ministries she volunteered for regularly: Feeding 5000. Please see www.Feeding5000.us for details. Please put Rachel Edgar in the memo section of the check.
Friends may visit Rachel’s blog of her journey at Rachelsharvestofhope.blogspot.com and view her Video Tribute at http://memorial.yourtribute.com/Rachel-L-Edgar/
Fly To Jesus Rachel
Yesterday I had the most amazing experience of watching my sister Rachel Fly to Jesus at 5:33PM. The family was gathered around - Mom, Dad, Rob, Jim, Wayne was on Skype, Julie, Aunt Betty and Aunt Paula were all there letting Rachel know that she was loved but we were all happy that she would soon be with Jesus and be pain free. I got to see my sister transition from her painful dying life her on earth and then a moment later she was with Jesus! My heart still sings for joy that I was there to see that!! I was able to hold her hand as she took her last breaths and then kissed her goodbye knowing that Jesus had already given her a new body, food to fill her new body and a beautiful house that she would live.
This morning I woke up with so much relief because I did not wake up fearing how Rachel's night went, would she have been in much pain?, would she has thrown up? Instead I knew that she was safe and healed!! Throughout the day I had moments of sadness as I prepared for the funeral and got out her dress that she had worn just a couple months ago at her renewal with Rob. Looking for shoes to go with the dress and a shawl to cover her skinny arms. But then I had to remind myself that she was in Heaven and there was no better place.
A couple of things that stick out to me about yesterday was that when Rachel had passed on to Heaven, a little while later Mom was in the other room crying and Dane came to her and said "MomMom, why are you cry??!!! You should be happy that Mommy is not in pain anymore" How amazing that an 11 year old can grasp that truth. But my heart still breaks for Dane and Ethan...so young to be without their Mommy!! Ethan cried a lot that night because he loved his Mommy so much. My heart cries for them.
Rob was there with Rachel as she passed and instead of anger about loosing his wife, he knew that she was healed and felt peaceful about everything. His love for Rachel was so special! Rob was an amazing husband to my sister and fit her perfectly! He is our family!! That will never change! Mom and Dad think of him as their own son. He is not my brother-in-law but my brother!
Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!
Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!
And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!
Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!
O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!
Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!
And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!
Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!
O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!
Monday, September 12, 2011
They don't serve breakfast in Hell
We continue this journey with Rachel. The end is so close but God still has not taken Rachel. Today was filled with challenges and events that I had hoped would never come about but here they are. Rachel is no longer able to get out of bed so she now has a catheter. It broke my heart knowing that she was going to get one because I knew she would never have agreed to it if she was able to put up a fight.
Last night was also a hard night for "aunt" Kathy who lovingly stayed with Rachel and helped Mom and Dad through the night. Rachel was in a lot of pain and was throwing up her pain medication. Aunt Kathy had to help Rachel a lot. At one point Rachel let Aunt Kathy know that she wanted to go Home...Heaven... it broke all our hearts to know that Rachel was in so much pain!!
When Rachel first found out the news that the cancer had spread everywhere and that she needed to get things in order, she went funeral shopping. It was hard for me to have any type of conversation with Rachel about her funeral but she was instant and wanted everything done her way!! Tonight with my dear friend I listened to some of the songs Rachel has picked out for her viewing...keep your ears tuned for them if you come to the viewing.
Last night was also a hard night for "aunt" Kathy who lovingly stayed with Rachel and helped Mom and Dad through the night. Rachel was in a lot of pain and was throwing up her pain medication. Aunt Kathy had to help Rachel a lot. At one point Rachel let Aunt Kathy know that she wanted to go Home...Heaven... it broke all our hearts to know that Rachel was in so much pain!!
When Rachel first found out the news that the cancer had spread everywhere and that she needed to get things in order, she went funeral shopping. It was hard for me to have any type of conversation with Rachel about her funeral but she was instant and wanted everything done her way!! Tonight with my dear friend I listened to some of the songs Rachel has picked out for her viewing...keep your ears tuned for them if you come to the viewing.
A rather interesting song for a funeral but Rachel wants her viewing to be pointing continually to the Lord and to be joyful! What fun it was to listen to this song.
Another conversation today with another friend was about our expectation for this life. We expect Rachel to live until a nice age of 90. We expect life to be carefree... these expectations are straight from the Devil!! God does not promise this! Instead He tells us that life is going to be hard especially for Christians. The Devil wants to take the trust and distort it so we questions and grow angry with the Lord when life does not turn out in a way that we expect. What do I need to expect???!!! for my sisters life and my life?? Just what the Bible tells me! and so I will turn back to His Word and fill my mind with His promises of never leaving me, He has given me eternal life, and so many other promises. What are some of your favorite promises that God has given!??
Saturday, September 10, 2011
From Reva
Barbara, Sent this to Serving Ladies last night. We are in prayer for a gentle, grace filled transition. Love you, Reva
Dear Serving Sisters,
We went to clean today and Barbara told us that hospice said this would probably be Rachel's last weekend. Barbara was very calm and the prayers of the righteous availed much, she seems to be at peace. She smiled and teased about not knowing what was going on last weekend (I had forgot to put Labor Day weekend on our cleaning calendar. I missed the date complety I had apologized profusely to her earlier this wk). Hearing her joke about it made me feel so much better. I had been feeling very down about my mistake.
Barbara asked us to wipe down her kitchen chairs and cabinets as she is expecting a lot of guests over the next days. Carole and Tara started on that right away, Myra started cleaning Barbara's bathroom, and I started on Rachel's bathrm.
Rachel was upright in bed with husband Rob seated in a chair, son Dane lying on the floor, and a woman relative was taking her turn sitting right next to Rachel, gently watching over her. As I was cleaning, Barbara came in and said, "Here goes, I'm going to give Rachel liquid morphine for the first time. If I can give her injections in her stomach, I can do anything." As I cleaned the bathroom, I heard Barbara gently waking Rachel, telling her to open her mouth and just let the medicine sit there and dissolve further. This was an intimate family moment, and even though I was in the next room, I felt a bit uncomfortable, didn't want to intrude.
As I was mopping the floor, I heard Barbara call my name. I got up and she had come into the bathroom. "Rachel knows you're here, and she wants you to pray for her", she said.
Now I must admit my mind went blank and I was in a mild panic. What do you say, what do you pray for, when someone has only hours left and they know it?
I took off my gloves and came to Rachel's bed. I made to sit in the chair across from the bed, but Barbara shook her head no, and pointed to the bed next to Rachel. So I sat down right beside her. I felt clumsy and huge, she was so small and tiny. Bones protruding, shoulders, neck, back, arms. So tiny, so fragile. I closed my eyes and felt Barbara put Rachel's hand in my hand. Lord, what do I say?
Dear Lord, thank You for the honor of knowing this young woman. Thank you that we your women, have been privileged to serve her. We are the better for it. It won't be long now until she hears You say,"Well done good and faithful servant." This is the woman who was quick to remind us of her faults but kept on ministering to the needs of others even when her health failed. We, Your honor guard, gently hand her over to Your angels for quick transport to You. Amen".
I started to get up and Barbara said, "Rachel likes to be hugged." So very, very gently, I took her in my arms and whispered in her ear, "Its been my high honor to serve you. Thank you for teaching me what really matters. Say hello to my Grandma when you see her." Barbara gave me a big smile and thanked me.
I told Barbara and Ed that we in the WR ministry had promised Rachel we would continue meal and cleaning service for a while after her departure to help her Mom and we intended to keep that promise. We would serve right up to the Women's Retreat. Both were stunned and ever so grateful. I told them both it would be our privilege. Ed is going to have a very rough time with this. When I asked how he was, he said "As good as a father can be at a time like this.'
So servants of the One True God, pray for the Arnold Family this weekend as Rachel makes her transition. Pray for each other as we carry out the schedule as well as do extra as the Lord has place on those of you who do extra as the Lord has placed on your hearts. You are a special, gifted group of women and the Lord has blessed me through you. Thank you for your serving spirits. Have a blessed weekend. Reva
Dear Serving Sisters,
We went to clean today and Barbara told us that hospice said this would probably be Rachel's last weekend. Barbara was very calm and the prayers of the righteous availed much, she seems to be at peace. She smiled and teased about not knowing what was going on last weekend (I had forgot to put Labor Day weekend on our cleaning calendar. I missed the date complety I had apologized profusely to her earlier this wk). Hearing her joke about it made me feel so much better. I had been feeling very down about my mistake.
Barbara asked us to wipe down her kitchen chairs and cabinets as she is expecting a lot of guests over the next days. Carole and Tara started on that right away, Myra started cleaning Barbara's bathroom, and I started on Rachel's bathrm.
Rachel was upright in bed with husband Rob seated in a chair, son Dane lying on the floor, and a woman relative was taking her turn sitting right next to Rachel, gently watching over her. As I was cleaning, Barbara came in and said, "Here goes, I'm going to give Rachel liquid morphine for the first time. If I can give her injections in her stomach, I can do anything." As I cleaned the bathroom, I heard Barbara gently waking Rachel, telling her to open her mouth and just let the medicine sit there and dissolve further. This was an intimate family moment, and even though I was in the next room, I felt a bit uncomfortable, didn't want to intrude.
As I was mopping the floor, I heard Barbara call my name. I got up and she had come into the bathroom. "Rachel knows you're here, and she wants you to pray for her", she said.
Now I must admit my mind went blank and I was in a mild panic. What do you say, what do you pray for, when someone has only hours left and they know it?
I took off my gloves and came to Rachel's bed. I made to sit in the chair across from the bed, but Barbara shook her head no, and pointed to the bed next to Rachel. So I sat down right beside her. I felt clumsy and huge, she was so small and tiny. Bones protruding, shoulders, neck, back, arms. So tiny, so fragile. I closed my eyes and felt Barbara put Rachel's hand in my hand. Lord, what do I say?
Dear Lord, thank You for the honor of knowing this young woman. Thank you that we your women, have been privileged to serve her. We are the better for it. It won't be long now until she hears You say,"Well done good and faithful servant." This is the woman who was quick to remind us of her faults but kept on ministering to the needs of others even when her health failed. We, Your honor guard, gently hand her over to Your angels for quick transport to You. Amen".
I started to get up and Barbara said, "Rachel likes to be hugged." So very, very gently, I took her in my arms and whispered in her ear, "Its been my high honor to serve you. Thank you for teaching me what really matters. Say hello to my Grandma when you see her." Barbara gave me a big smile and thanked me.
I told Barbara and Ed that we in the WR ministry had promised Rachel we would continue meal and cleaning service for a while after her departure to help her Mom and we intended to keep that promise. We would serve right up to the Women's Retreat. Both were stunned and ever so grateful. I told them both it would be our privilege. Ed is going to have a very rough time with this. When I asked how he was, he said "As good as a father can be at a time like this.'
So servants of the One True God, pray for the Arnold Family this weekend as Rachel makes her transition. Pray for each other as we carry out the schedule as well as do extra as the Lord has place on those of you who do extra as the Lord has placed on your hearts. You are a special, gifted group of women and the Lord has blessed me through you. Thank you for your serving spirits. Have a blessed weekend. Reva
Friday, September 9, 2011
Death Watch
How did we get here?? Where is my strong sister that could take on the world and still clean every inch of her house in a matter of hours. How is it that I am sitting at her bedside waiting for her to take her last breath? But here we are...the family is gathered around and we all are watching Rachel...dreading the moment... counting the seconds inbetween breaths. Our hearts are breaking! We still can't believe that this time has come. We want to cling onto Rachel and not let her go! I keep thinking that she will be healed because that is what was suppose to happen! She is not suppose to be laying here sleeping...like she has been doing for the last 24 hours. I want her to wake up and ask for something to eat and to keep it down. I want her to tell me that everything is going to be OK...but that will not happen and my heart continues to break.
Will it be tonight?? will she go to heaven tomorrow?? Should I leave tonight to go home and sleep in my bed or stay here with Rachel while I still have her?? How can this be happening?? It has been over 24 hours since she has been awake to eat anything. Last night she threw up all the food that she had eaten that day and all her medication. Hospice was here today. We have a wonderful nurse named Trish who has been with us from the beginning of hospice care. Trish let us know that it was unsafe for us to offer anymore food to Rachel because she could aspirate on the food. But even without letting us know that, we would not have been able to get Rachel to eat anything. All Rachel has done today is sleep. I am so glad she is not really in pain. So glad this has been an easy release for her. God is good even when we can't understand why He is doing this.
My brother Wayne came home yesterday as a surprise to Rachel and the rest of us! I am so glad he can be here with us but sad that it has to be on these terms. Mom, Dad, Jim, Aunt Betty and I are here around Rachel's bedside because we can't leave. Rob comes in and out and so does Wayne. What is life going to be like after this?
Continue to pray for our family but more importantly pray for those who are reading this who don't know the Lord.
Will it be tonight?? will she go to heaven tomorrow?? Should I leave tonight to go home and sleep in my bed or stay here with Rachel while I still have her?? How can this be happening?? It has been over 24 hours since she has been awake to eat anything. Last night she threw up all the food that she had eaten that day and all her medication. Hospice was here today. We have a wonderful nurse named Trish who has been with us from the beginning of hospice care. Trish let us know that it was unsafe for us to offer anymore food to Rachel because she could aspirate on the food. But even without letting us know that, we would not have been able to get Rachel to eat anything. All Rachel has done today is sleep. I am so glad she is not really in pain. So glad this has been an easy release for her. God is good even when we can't understand why He is doing this.
My brother Wayne came home yesterday as a surprise to Rachel and the rest of us! I am so glad he can be here with us but sad that it has to be on these terms. Mom, Dad, Jim, Aunt Betty and I are here around Rachel's bedside because we can't leave. Rob comes in and out and so does Wayne. What is life going to be like after this?
Continue to pray for our family but more importantly pray for those who are reading this who don't know the Lord.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Think about these things
Another turn in Rachel's health has happened and now she sleeps more then anything. She is taking less medication because she is not able to stay awake long enough to take the medication or it causes her to throw up. Last night she threw up a number of times during the night and today she was very weak. She has lost so much weight.
Sometimes we get a smile, sometimes she sits up and is able to open her eyes, sometimes she is able to eat some fruit. But most of the time, she sleeps. We are thankful that Rachel is not in pain. We are thankful that we have Rachel today! We are thankful for amazing friends and family that gather around us as we go through this time. We are thankful knowing so many people are praying for us. We are thankful for the food brought for our families. We are thankful for salvation and the knowledge that Rachel will soon be in heaven.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Sometimes we get a smile, sometimes she sits up and is able to open her eyes, sometimes she is able to eat some fruit. But most of the time, she sleeps. We are thankful that Rachel is not in pain. We are thankful that we have Rachel today! We are thankful for amazing friends and family that gather around us as we go through this time. We are thankful knowing so many people are praying for us. We are thankful for the food brought for our families. We are thankful for salvation and the knowledge that Rachel will soon be in heaven.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
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